The first weeks – Part I

So, as announced, I am preggo… preggers… knocked up… with child… so many phrases apply.  Since I use this blog as a journal of my life, I wanted to record some general thoughts during my first half of my pregnancy.  I couldn’t quite remember how things were with Landon and I wanted to record my weeks in case we ever decide for a third child.  We’re both thinking either 2 or 3 (well, Dean’s only thinking 2) and I obviously am not even worried about anything beyond this baby – but with all the sickness I’ve had this time, I’m also leaning towards 2.

I really don’t remember what it was like during my first pregnancy – just that I felt nauseous a lot and got sick a couple of times – and I wanted something I could look back on in a few years.  I know that I will soon mentally block out these tough weeks – I think God has a way of causing mothers to ‘forget’ different aspects of pregnancy and labor – after all, if we remembered, who would have more than one kid?! 

Note:  Going back and reading this (I am now in trimester 2) sounds so negative.  I almost want to add a little pep and life into it, make it not sound so terrible, but my goal is to journal my experience and be real and let’s face it – the first trimester for me was hellacious.  I want to be able to look back on this in several years and remember what it was really like for me.  I’ve already forgotten what it was like to be pregnant with Landon – my thoughts, concerns and memories of carrying a child for the first time.  Here’s my attempt to journal this time in my life… 

Week 5 – I think I might be pregnant but I’m not sure. I don’t want to take a pregnancy test to confirm anything yet. Let’s just hold off a little bit and see how things go.

Week 6 – Yep, this has got to be pregnancy. Either that or something is seriously wrong because I am feeling ‘morning sick’ a LOT.  That can’t be a good sign if this isn’t pregnancy.  I thought I might be able to hold out until Fathers Day and give Dean a big surprise with the news, but I’m just going to try to make it until his birthday (end of May) and then spill the beans.  Yep, that’s definitely as long as I can make it (I hope I can make it til then – it’s hard to hide getting sick!) 

Week 7- Spilled the beans to Dean on his bday.  Ugh, I am at my worst.  This has been the hardest week yet.  I’ve been sick 4 of 5 days straight!  Sometimes a family walk in the evening helps me to feel settled, but mostly I just don’t care about doing anything – cooking, cleaning, etc.  I try to get some one on one play time with Landon in the evenings and that’s all I am good for.  It’s hard keeping the secret at work with my dad and feeling so terrible.  Dean has been a super help picking up my slack around the house and with Landon.  Food options are VERY limited at this point – mostly just grosses me out.  Smells are super strong now too… yuck!

Week 8- Told my sister my ‘secret’ since she’s ‘been there-done that’ and can relate.  It feels good to talk to someone who understands my pain from a first-hand basis!  Still getting sick on occassion but getting better with figuring out how to keep my stomach ‘semi-full’ at all times, which helps!  Also, been on Unisom at night which is a miracle worker for my nausea.  I had my confirmation appt with the dr and they said it’s definitely a ‘plus sign’ – everything seems to be right on track.  I am super exhausted all the time – it’s hard work growing a baby.  It’s really up and down at this point – three great days in a row and then BAM – I’m on my back!  I’ve told my parents the news and they can’t believe Landon will be a big brother!

Week 9- Now, I’m just getting annoyed that I am still getting sick.  I want energy back. I want a normal appetite again.  I want to not be so specific about what I want to eat every day.  I know that I really didn’t mind months 4-6 with Landon, so I am hoping that will be the case this time too.  Dean just keeps reminding me that I’ve done it once before and I can do it again, and then he runs to get me more ginger ale. 🙂  It feels like I’ve been hungover for weeks straight.  I would never do that to myself – if I go out and drink a few to many one night it’s usually months before a tough morning again… not in this case.  It’s like I’m at a month-long spring break, only I never drink – I just get the morning/noon/night-after pain! 

**Also, randomly keep referring to the baby as either ‘it’ or ‘she’.  Don’t plan on finding out the sex, but find this interesting since with Landon, I usually referred to him as ‘it’ or ‘he’ even though we waited to find out the sex.  Wonder if this is foreshadowing?!**

Week 10- Was expecting things to ease up this week and for some of the week they did, but other days were just terrible.  I actually went on a short jog once this week, first time since about week 6.  It felt good but then the next day was really rough.  Still a rollercoaster, but I do feel there are at least more good days than bad.

Week 11- Still really picky about what I eat and have some times where I don’t feel well, but the nausea isn’t nearly as bad as it was a few weeks ago- it usually just appears for a few hours here and there, and not every day.  I really am ready to make it to the end of this week so that we can ‘hopefully’ be done with this first trimester crap! 🙂  Meat still really disgusts me and Dean keeps craving Big Daddy’s Burger Bar and Outback – GROSS!  Also, somewhat of a downer is that when I am ready to start exercising again it’s gonna be about 100-degrees outside!  I guess eliptical and stairmaster it will be!  I’m need to have some exercise in my life again!

Week 12 – Things have gotten a little bit better, but there are definitely still some rough spells.  I cannot believe I still get sick.  I don’t think it lasted this long when I had Landon.  I think my energy level is at an all-time low, are we sure I don’t have mono?  I just want to REST and lay down all the time!  My current cravings are often cereal, baked potatos, salad, ramen noodles.  Really plain and bland foods for the most part.

Week 13 – I thought that since I was at week 13 a light switch would be flipped and I would be feeling great now.  Not the case – yet.  I even got sick once this week – WOW!  I thought 13 on and I would be in the clear.  Still so tired and feeling emotionally down because I am TIRED of feeling bad all the time.  This must be similar to what chemo patients go through – constantly feeling sick while they are getting treatment.  I cannot even imagine.

See, super negative, I tell ya.  The good news is – I can already seen into the future of this pregnancy and know that in trimester two, things do get better!  A happier, more normal, less crabby Ginger emerges.  I’ll continue with some of my thoughts on the second trimester in the coming weeks!

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