I wish I knew…

One of my husbands favorite sayings is “I wish I knew…” and it’s been used often. 

“I wish I knew if they were going to accept our first offer so we knew if we should look at other houses or if we were going to get it.” (said after over 30 days of no response from an offer on a bank shortsale.)
“I wish I knew what the process was…” (when waiting on the banks response to our counteroffer).

I laugh because we both have sayings we overuse in our house… and this is one of his. 

Recently, I had a revelation when driving down the street.  I was mentally talking to myself “I wish I knew what Dean’s next job will be and what it will look like.” 

And I stopped myself in that thought process and thought – what a boring world/life this would be if I always knew what was going to happen.  If I always knew the outcome, nothing would be exciting… we’d know – Dean’s job will be with XYZ Company, starting XYZ date and he’ll love it/hate it/etc. 

In the same way, there would be no exciting last-minute comebacks that cause your heart to pound out of your chest.  The stress of getting a business deal closed would be wiped out because we’d ultimately know what the outcome was before it even started.

Some days I wonder what Brooks and Landon will look like the day they walk into their first day of kindergarten.  Will they still have a crazy head of curls? Will they be shy and wrapped around my leg or will they be bouncing all over the place, so excited for class to start?  Will they look grown up, or still child-like?  Then I remember, that day will come… but right now, I need to focus on today and what they look like and act like in this moment. 

Sometimes I get so wrapped up in wanting to be God – to know everything and understand everything – that I forget how exciting life is when we let it take its course and direct us down unknown paths.

 

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