I have made an unspoken rule to myself when it comes to parenting our kids. I always back daddy.
What does that mean? That means that no matter what the discussion is or what is going on, if we are in the heat of the moment parenting, I will always back Dean. Even if I don’t necessarily agree 100%. And he always has my back.
There may be times where in the heat of the moment, I am laying down the law at meal time and requiring the kids to eat X amount of food before they can go out to play. Even if he feels differently, he will back me. Maybe later on he’ll address it and say – he probably wasn’t very hungry because I gave him a pack of peanut butter crackers on the way home. But in the moment, we have each others back.
And it works vice versa. Even if he is handling things in a way I might not do it, in the moment, I am 100% behind him and whatever daddy says goes.
Then later on, we can talk about it between the two of us and decide if we want to handle things differently next time.
We can also take the conversation to decide if we need to apologize to the kids for how we handled it and commit to do it differently next time.
With two little “angels” trying to negotiate mom and dad against each other, it’s important that we stand united and the kids know that they can’t go around us. What one says, the other agrees.
Hopefully doing this from a young age sets a precedence for how things will always be handled in the future. With dad backing mom and mom backing dad.