The hardest thing about marriage…

I was recently asked by a friend about marriage.  She is in a pre-engagement class at her church and she said that while she’s always loved the thought of getting married, she also is nervous about the idea.  I talked about how there are always going to be the good side and hard side of marriage.  But same thing with being single.  Or having kids.  You can always find good and bad in every situation.

With so many marriages ending in divorce these days, I agree – marriage can be a scary thing. There is no end game to it, you go into it knowing you are signing up for the next 50+ years.

This conversation got me thinking about my marriage and what I think the hardest thing is about my marriage.

The hardest thing about my marriage is my selfishness.

Marriage is hard because too often I make it about me.  I get upset when MY plans get ruined at the last minute because of things that come up. I get frustrated when MY husband doesn’t give me enough one-on-one time or when I don’t feel supported. I feel rejected and unloved when MY ideas aren’t seriously considered.  I feel defeated when I do something for my spouse and he doesn’t acknowledge ME the way I want him to. I feel dejected when I specifically tell my husband something I wish he would do for ME (I know he’s not a mindreader) and he doesn’t do it.

Yes, my marriage is especially hard when I make it all about me.  And because I’m a selfish person, it happens often.  In the words of the mighty Terrell Owens, “I love me some me.”

I’m working on my selfishness.  I know that I can make our marriage so much better if I didn’t always feel it was about me.

What about for you… what is the hardest thing about your marriage?


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