As Dean and I celebrate our 6 year anniversary, I’ve been thinking about the reasons we’ve made it this far. Is it the way we have a similar sense of humor? Is it our opposites in some ways, twins in other ways approach to life? Is it just that we are old enough to have a mutual respect for each other? Is it because we love to watch the same shows on TV?
I’m sure it’s a little bit of all those things, but I think one of the biggest things for me has been Dean’s level of support through our marriage. My husband rarely tells me a nudge I have or a goal I want to hit is something we can’t do. He might say “wow, that’s a huge goal” but he doesn’t do anything but support me as I try to hit that goal.
– I said I wanted to do a half marathon. He told me to go for it and sign up. This means he often has to keep the kids while I take 1.5 hour morning runs on Saturday’s and Sunday’s.
– I said I felt God was telling me to give a huge chunk of our down payment savings to the church the same week we found an awesome dream house for sale. He stood right there when we wrote the check.
– When I told him about the prompting to start a women’s bible study on Sunday nights – which would require him to be a solo parent at night with the kids every Sunday – he got out the broom and helped me clean the house for my guests.
– If I think of “fun” decorating and painting ideas to personalize our home, he’s the first with the paint roller in hand to help get it done.
This is not to say my husband is some kind of pushover and anything I say happens. But when it comes to things that are important in life – health, trusting God, family time – my husband often shows me a ton of support in my ideas – even if we end up choosing another route.
There is a confidence that comes with knowing someone supports you in this way and has your back. It makes me feel like I can go for anything because Dean believes in the plan.
This confidence is important because there are times when Dean will push back or have his own ideas. I know that we aren’t going to agree 100% on everything, so it’s important to me that I am open to hear his ideas and suggestions too. I want my husband to feel like I always have his back and that his opinions are important too.
I think a level of mutual support is one of the biggest reasons we are blessed to hit #6.