Marriage Roles

In keeping up with the marriage theme for the past few days (yay 6 year anniversary), I wanted to share one more post on the roles that Dean and I each take in our marriage and how it works for us.

1. I am the task driver.  Oftentimes, I have a lot of the details and plans in my mind for where we are going and what we need to do to get there.  Dean doesn’t work like that. He has general ideas on where our life will be, but he prefers to live in the present and let the future take us where it does.  This means that I like to have the list of the 57 to-do’s that we should accomplish and we work together to make sure they get done.  It also means that Dean often looks at me on Saturday mornings and asks, “what are the things we need to do this weekend?” and we run through the list together to prioritize.

2. He keeps everything running.  While I like to have lots of to-do’s for new projects, Dean always remembers the things that need to be done on the regular.  He takes the trash out and brings the mail in. He remembers that we need to seed the yard or change the oil.  He does a lot of the regular maintenance (air filters, car stuff, etc).  He can remember the mundane things that I often forget and those mundane things are often VERY important.

3. I am the crazy.  When it comes to planning family adventures or thinking out of the box on date night, I’m your girl.  I don’t care if I’m dancing in public with my kiddos or singing songs in the aisles of the store with them.  (I’m pretty sure I get this trait from my dad!)  I don’t mind going down the slide when there are 6 other kids in line, if it means I get to do it with my kids. I love trying to think of something new we haven’t done or going somewhere that will be a special memory – and Dean is almost always on board for the ride.

4. He is the predictable.  There is something to be said for the confidence in knowing how my husband will react and what he would do in a situation.  Because he is a pretty predictable guy, I often know how he is going to react to certain news or ideas I throw his way.  This is good because it allows me to choose the “best” time to let him know of things.  There is also a sense of comfort in knowing that we have a lot of the same routines in place because my husband likes to do things a certain way all the time.  One example is the consistency in our grocery shopping routine and the things we buy. Or knowing what his “ideal weekend” is, so we can plan our time accordingly.

Sometimes my husband and I reminisce how our roles have evolved and changed in the past years.  He likes to call it “molding me” (i.e. when I do something differently than I used to, and do it in a better way now – like handling arguments better – he will say, “See how you did that and handled it, look how much better you did, see I’m molding you… 😉 ”  And while it’s said sarcastically, it is actually true.  He does make me a better person. He helps me look at it from a different perspective and often it’s a good way to approach it.  And hopefully I do the same for him. Help him see it from another point of view.

I hope we keep sculpting away for the next 40+ years… molding each other, providing new perspectives and also not being afraid to take risks with our goals for the future.

Yes, I snagged this stud:

jd 14

And who would guess that this boy…

jd 9

…would marry this girl?

ginger kid 2



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