Repost: It’s not always greener

This week I’m taking a blogging break. Instead of posting any new things, I went back into my archives and found a few of my favorite past posts.  Things I think are worth posting twice.

This post was written in February 2011 – smack dab in the middle of “love season”. 

Let me preface this post by saying I really love my husband. He is a strong, sensitive, funny, quiet man who is the perfect fit for me.

I recently heard several single ladies talking about how they really wanted to find Mr. Right.  They were sick of the dating scene, they wanted someone to love them and be all ooey-gooey with them.

Well, I have a message for all the single ladies out there… marriage isn’t all ooey-gooey love and “playing house”.  When I first got married, the first weeks and months were easy… we were “playing house”.  I had permanent “boy sleepovers”.  But then I realized that the boy snores and steals the covers at night.  He leaves his dirty clothes on the floor.  He likes doing his things his way, I like my way!  Oh, this isn’t the Cinderella story I was expecting!!

Marriage is a lot of work. Yes, there are times where it’s head over heels love and times of cuddling and lovey doveyness, but it’s also tons of hard work.  There is the challenge of figuring out life with someone else who has their own set of opinions and way of doing things.  It’s tough to swallow your pride and be encouraging and loving towards a spouse right after a heated discussion.  Sometimes you just want a breather…  to get away and have your “me time”, where your opinions and thoughts are the only ones that matter.

Yes, it is so nice to have a permanent life partner, someone I can tell my deep, dark secrets and fears, someone I can be myself around, someone who knows all about me and what makes me tick, someone who knows just the right thing to say to get me out of that rut.  Marriage is a good thing.  I can’t imagine being in the dating scene.  I wouldn’t know how to do it… is it to early to say “i love you”, should I give him a kiss goodnight, when does he meet the parents…what’s the proper ‘dating protocol’?  While there’s a lot of freedom, it also sounds like a lot of heartache during the search for Mr. Right.

So, a message for the single ladies and married ladies – a reminder that the grass is not always greener.  It’s just as hard on the other side of the fence, sometimes harder.  And often the reason the grass is greener on the other side is because that yard is getting water.  Make sure you are watering your side too – if you are in a marriage, work on your marriage.  If you are single, focus on being the best future partner you can be.

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