Just another reminder of how quickly time is passing and how much my boy has grown in just one school year.
A reminder that while I’ll be his mom for the rest of his life, I’m already a third of the way through my “official duties” and then he’ll leave the nest and will only depend on me for holiday and summer vacation housing 🙂
I love these reminders of how much he’s grown, but at least once a week I watch him and envision him as my little sweet baby, tucked in my arms and resting on my chest. The baby cheeks, skinny legs and stoic expression. He may be six, but in that instant I see him at six months old. Completely reliant on his mom for everything. And I can’t believe how much he’s grown so much and how much less he needs me already.
Other times, I get a glimpse of ‘teenage Landon’. I glance at him across the yard and he looks older – like I’m looking through a futuristic mirage showing me what he’ll look like at age 14. I blink and the moment passes but it’s just enough to cause a little catch in my throat as I think of him at that age – what he’ll be like. He’ll likely tower over me by then. The way his voice will be low and strong. The way he’ll have muscles instead of baby arms. The way his shaggy curls will catch at the back of his neck. And I think of how much he’ll need me. Yes, for food and clothes and a roof overhead, but as the years pass he’ll need me less and less. By then his values will be shaped and his mindsets created. He’ll ask friends for advice instead of me.
My most impactful years are now. Which is why we talk about caring for others in need, loving Jesus, giving back, making family a priority and working hard no matter what we’re doing. Because when he’s 14, what I say won’t have the weight it has now.
Each day, he’s growing a little more and becoming more of his own person, where his own thoughts and opinions will start to dominate outweigh anything his dad or I tell him. Each day my influence fades a little more than the day before.
He’s changing and the pictures he created are just a concrete example of what’s happening behind the scenes. A reminder that his little boy-isms are fleeting and he’s becoming a young man. A young man that I’m really, really proud of.