Being a mom seems to be more frustrating than normal lately. I know, given the few pictures that I take on my phone of happy swimming boys or a sweet moment where my kids are playing well together, you’d think our family life was perfect. I guess that’s how it might look on the outside.
But if you were within the walls of our home at 6pm on any given night, you’d hear the anger in my voice asking my easily-distracted son to pick up his fork and eat dinner. For the 3rd time. Threatening lost privileges or spankings for getting out of his seat, yet again.
If you were a fly on the wall in the morning, you’d hear fun, happy moods turn sour as the minutes ticked away to get out the door. How we went from ahead of schedule to leaving 10 minutes late, I have no idea. But Fun Mom turns to Grouchy Mom as the kids dilly dally and I’m yelling at them to finish breakfast and get their shoes on.
If you heard the voices in my head asking why their pace is always glacial when we’re trying to navigate a busy parking lot, you’d hear me ask God why this parenting thing is so complicated – why I feel like such a failure all the time.
Lately, it seems that parenting brings more frustration than joy. I’m trusting that we’re just in a funk and that we’ll get back into our groove. That I won’t feel so guilty about counting the minutes until they get in bed and I can have a minute of peace. I won’t be exhausted from asking them to do things over and over and over.
In a world where we all put our best moments on facebook or instagram, it’s a reminder that those are snapshots of the highs but there is always a behind the scenes. The frustrating moments, the tantrums, the slammed doors and harsh words. It’s all part of this parenting journey that we’re navigating.
It’s hard. And some days it doesn’t FEEL like it’s worth it. But I know it is.