Kids say the Darndest Things

Expanding Father’s Day

This past Sunday, we – along with the rest of America – celebrated Father’s Day.  Since Dean doesn’t do breakfast until around lunchtime, we couldn’t make him breakfast in bed.  And I don’t drink coffee so I don’t really know how to make it, so the next best thing was hitting up Starbucks to get something special for my baby daddy.

The kids and I snuck out of the house at 7:30 – Dean was surprisingly still asleep – and headed 2 miles down the road for the liquid goods.

As we pulled out of the neighborhood, Brooks asked, “Mom, I’m hungry, can Landon and I get something for breakfast at Starbucks?”

“This day is about celebrating dad and doing special things for him – unlike most of our weekends, today isn’t about you and Landon.  It’s only a few minutes down the road, we can make you some breakfast when we get back.” I replied.

Of course, my witty 6 year old had his own thoughts on that: “Well, Landon and I are going to be dads one day, so today SHOULD be about me, Landon and Dad!”

BMD beach


Brooks Says: Earning Points

Each school day, Brooks’ teacher tracks behavior points for her class.  There is an app/webpage you can log into to see how your kid is doing throughout the day:



It’s great because I can ask Brooks specifics about his day and have a general idea of how he’s doing.

Lately, he’s been doing great at earning those green, positive points for listening, following directions, being a Bucket Filler (caught doing something good), etc.  Brooks is our “more spirited” and social child, so there have been weeks where there were a bunch of “calling out” or “not listening” -1 points.

95% of the time, the points are allocated in 1-point increments, but sometimes she’ll give a 5-point bonus.  I asked Brooks what these were for and he said it can be super good behavior or solving a challenging math problem.

One day, he came home with a +5 bonus point.  I asked what great thing he did to earn those bonus points.

“At snack time, someone threw their strawberry stems on the floor near the trash, but not in the trash.  Mrs. S asked for whoever ate strawberries to pick it up, but none of the kids went and picked it up, so I did.”

“Wow, Brooks, that was awesome you did something so nice.”

Then as I was tucking him in to bed an hour later I asked, “What points are you going to work on for tomorrow? Good listening? Walking quietly in the hallway?”

“No, I think I’m just going to wait until someone throws their garbage outside of the trashcan and I’ll go pick it up for an easy 5 points!”  😉 🙂

This boy.  I love him.


Brooks and I riding in the car together.

B: Mom, how do you know if you are going to go to jail or get a ticket when a policeman pulls you over?
M: Well, it depends on what you do. If you are speeding or don’t use your turn signal, you’ll probably just get a ticket.  But if you don’t stop when they pull you over or if you are drinking and driving, they will take you to jail.
B:  (I see him in the rear view mirror and his eyes get big with concern.) Well, Mom, they are going to take dad to jail, because he’s always drinking and driving.
M: Well, it only matters if you’re drinking alcohol – water and soda are ok.


Having a conversation at the dinner table asking my kids what sport they want to play in the fall.

B: I’m going to play tackle football.
M: No, I’m not going to let you play tackle football. First, I don’t even think tackle football is an option for kindergartners.  You’re too little.  Second, there are many other sports you can choose including flag football, but I’m not comfortable with how aggressive football is.  There is too much of a chance of brain or other serious injuries in that sport.
B: Well, when I turn 18, I’m an adult and then I can choose if I want to play tackle football.
M: You sure can.
B: And I’ll probably start playing tackle football and then go to the NFL.
M: I’m not sure how many NFL players start playing when they are 18, but give it all you got!

Big Goals

My kiddo has big goals.  In 2018, my second grader wants to make $100,000 (down from his original $300,000 goal). #weak

And while most 7 year olds want to try harder at activities like tying shoes, learning the rules of soccer or reading chapter books… mine wants to start bodybuilding. 😉

resol L

I’d love to see what the other kids in his class came up with.  I guess Landon’s role models are Hugh Jackman and John Cena? #buffrichguys

Don’t you love to see the answers your kids give to questions like this? It’s so funny to see how their little minds work.


Part of the reason I wanted to post stuff on my blog again is so I can capture Brooks-isms.  That boy is so funny and the things he says are regularly the highlights of my day.

On biblical foods:
In our car leaving church
Me: Brooks, I see you answered a question in eKidz today, what did you talk about?
Brooks: They asked what food God gave Moses… and I guessed “bread”
Me: Wow, how did you know that was the answer?
Brooks: Because every time we read a bible story, they are always eating bread.

On guarding his cousin:
In the car on the way to his basketball game where his team is playing his cousin Lawson’s team
Brooks, out of the blue: Mom, you don’t have to worry, I’m going to go easy on Lawson, so I don’t guard him too much.
(this is a big deal because if you see these kindergartners in action, you know how hard B likes to guard his man – chasing him/her all over the court, with no regard for where the ball actually is!) 🙂

On distracted dinners:
Dean, Landon and I have finished eating dinner and are now holding a conversation on the couch. Brooks is at the kitchen table, still trying to eat his dinner.
Me: Brooks, please stop worrying about what we are doing and eat your food. This is the 4th time I’ve asked you to focus on eating. You haven’t taken a bite yet.
Brooks: But mom, your conversation is so interesting. I can’t help but pay attention to you guys.

On using nicknames on birthday cakes:
At the kitchen table discussing his birthday festivities.
Brooks: Mom, I want to bring a cookie cake for my class.
Me: What do you want it to say? Happy Birthday Mr Bear?
Brooks: No it can’t say Mr. Bear, mom, the kids at school don’t know my nickname.
Me: Ok, what should it say?
Brooks: “Happy birthday Brooks, I hope you have a really special day. You are awesome.”
Me: Hmmm… I think we’d need a bigger cake.


Brooks Says: I keep telling her…

A real conversation in our car the other day.

(Sidenote: My mother-in-law is overly generous and is always bringing toys, clothes, shoes, gifts, treats, etc for our kids when she visits.)


Brooks:  When is Grammy coming down to visit us? I want her to bring us some presents.

Me: Brooks, that isn’t a good attitude. I don’t want you to expect gifts every time Grammy comes down to visit.  You should want to spend time with her, not ask her to buy you stuff.  I’m going to tell her not to bring any gifts next time she comes down to visit.

Brooks:  I don’t know what’s wrong with her.  I keep telling her to buy adult stuff, but she keeps buying kid stuff when she comes down her.



Brooks says: Getting big muscles


This boy is too observant.

Brooks looks over at Dean one day, while Dean was doing P90x, and said “dad, if you want to get really big muscles, you have to take your shirt off.”

So now, whenever he wants to exercise with daddy, he takes his shirt off.  I guess Brooks realizes all the guys with really big muscles are usually shirt free showing off their six pack.  And he’s right – you don’t see many obese guys dying to show off their bod with no shirt, just the ripped ones!

Five year old correlation.