Many who are married know the ups and downs that come with being a spouse. It’s hard when some of the things you really loved about your mate before you were married (the “quirks”) tend to become annoyances after you get a few anniversaries under your belt.
Like, if your spouse is always late… cute, when it’s the predictable 5 minutes when you were dating. Now that life is hectic, you see it as unreliable. Or the way he/she always falls for the 2 for 1 sales at the store… it was a joke when you unpacked those 4 bags of chips back then… now, it seems wasteful.
Yes, there are always areas on marriage that you aren’t going to see eye to eye with your mate.
We are doing a marriage sermon series at our church (Elevation Church) and it is really good. One of the best parts in the message this past weekend was a discussion on people who get frustrated with the 20% of their spouse that frustrates them for the sake of the 80% they love.
This was such a great reminder for me. Yes, there are times that I nag my husband or get frustrated by how he’ll handle a situation and tend to dwell on it, instead of remembering how much I love the other 80%. (And he’d tell you he’s more like 94% awesome and 6% frustrating!)
In honor of the message this weekend, I bring you some of the 80% I love about my husband:
- Dean often knows what I’m thinking when crazy stuff happens around us. And because he knows my mental crazy tendencies, he will often pre-address it… “Ginger just because XYZ happened, doesn’t mean that it’s going to happen in our family.” I love that he knows me enough to know when I need a reassuring word, even if I don’t say much about it.
- His manliness. He loves doing the manly things around our house. He takes the trash out 98% of the time, he handles the lawn and maintains the cars. He YouTubes anything he doesn’t know how to do and often can figure it out that way.
- When we can laugh about the same things. We get into silly conversations sometimes and he comes up with the craziest and funniest commentary. Laying in bed and just chatting with him (laughing about situations of the day, talking about our kids, planning our week ahead, sharing funny stories…) is one of the best parts of our marriage.
- Sharing our frustrations together. I’m lucky that we can commiserate on a tough day or just share enough to know that the other person needs some leeway and grace because they are having a hard week.
- I love that we work hard together on doing a lot as a family. Traveling together, supporting each other at events, watching our kids do things, running errands. It’s often the 4 of us and that’s important to me.
- My husband is so quick to apologize and he freely forgives. The amount of grace he gives in our relationship is amazing and I know that I am so blessed to be on the receiving end of it. At times when I want to hold a grudge or fight for something, I remind myself of the countless times he’s given me leeway or forgiven my offense without another word and it makes me want to be a better forgiver to him.
I am so lucky for the great 80% (or 95%?!) that my husband brings to our marriage. I want to remember to appreciate it often and not get hung up on the 20% because 80% sure is a great number!